College: Part 1

Well.  One year down.  It's rather surreal, I must admit, to comprehend the fact that I've finished my first year of college already.  It's even more amazing to realize that I've finished my first year in a Chemical Engineering curriculum.  Yeah, I think at some point I'm going to fall over in a mental exhaustion from all of the super duper fun science and math classes I'll be taking in the very near future...  But as far as right now is concerned, I still just love me some good ol' fashioned Chemistry.  Weesnaw.

As I sit here on my back deck on this BEAUTIFUL Sunday morning in Eastern Oregon, I can't help but reflect on my first year at OSU as a whole, and all of the incredible things that have happened over the course of the past year.  I suppose thought that incredible could be substituted with a lot of other words as well.  Interesting...  Hilarious...  Sickening...  Disgraceful...  Yeah, go ahead and use your imagination to fill in the rest of these words.  And then, I started thinking....  "Wouldn't some of these stories make absolutely hilarious blog posts?"  The answer, is yes.

This particular post is going to be broken up into three seperate parts:  Fall term, Winter term, and Spring term.

To be frank, I only have a handful of memories of fall term at OSU.  Maybe it's because it was such a long time ago, that I've forgotten most of it.  Maybe it's because all of the hardcore drugs I've been taking as of late have wiped my long term memory out entirely (only kidding, to those of you who are inept in the ways of sarcasm).  At any rate, the following story is one of laughs, tears, drama, heartbreak, adventure, and a dashingly handsome protagonist.

But in all honesty, it's about chemistry.

Fall term, I was enrolled in Chemistry 221, which is the upper series of General Chemistry.  For me, it was a snooze.  It was all about stuff I had gone over in GREAT detail my senior year of high school, so I literally slept through the class and waltzed away with a high A at the end of the term.  Most of my friends were in this class as well; my roommate, Virinda Boyle, and a vast majority of my friends that I would meet through my classes as the term progressed.  At any rate, there was one friend of mine in particular who was in the class as well, and is subsequently who this story revolves around.

Alex Geelan.

I had met Alex the summer before leaving for college, through my friend Connor.  Throughout the summer, we'd talk about how excited we were to finally be going off to school.  We'd talk about where we were living,  what we were planning on doing throughout the year, what classes we were taking, and the like.  At some point, Alex had mentioned to me that he was taking CH 221.  "Hey!" I said.  "I'm taking the exact same class!!"  Alex, "No way!?  Dude....  I'm going to hate it.  I suck at chemistry."  Me, "Well, I'd be HAPPY to help and tutor you as the year progresses!  Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I'm a PRO when it comes to chemistry."

Needless to say, he ate the offer up.

Throughout the term, my friends all realized that I was really good at chemistry.  This prompted even MORE asking of help.  Well, that's fine, I like helping my friends; so it's no big deal.  It was at this point that I came up with the most INGENIOUS idea of a Chemistry Study Group!  My friends and I would all meet in the library once or twice a week and keep up on all of our homework, while bouncing extra problems off of each other to make sure our knowledge of the material stayed fresh in our minds.  It was an ingenious idea, and for the most part, went very smoothly.

Finally, we found ourselves faced with the first midterm.  Confident in my friends' abilities to do well on the exam, there wasn't much studying to be had between any of us.  Wishing everyone good luck, we all dispersed to our separate rooms and took the exam.

Getting done with the exam in ten minutes, I stood outside and waited for Alex, who took the exam in the same room as I did.  When he finally came out, we started walking back to my room together so we could check the answer key and see how we did.

"Psh; easiest exam EVER, right?"  I asked Alex with a confident smirk plastered on my face.  "Uhhh....  Yeah, I don't know, dude.  There were some questions that I was kind of iffy about."  Alex responded.  Well, I wasn't too worried.  After all; with subject material like significant figures and basic, BASIC reactions, it had to have been a cinch.

Or at least that's what I thought.

Alex ended up getting a high D on his first exam.  WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA.  What?!?!  I stared incredulous at his exam, as he stood there with total nonchalance.  "Dude.  Don't worry about it!  The final wipes out the two midterms anyway.  This is just a minor snafu; you're freaking out way too much about this." He tells me reassuringly.

What the hell!?  A D in significant figures!?!?  I just couldn't wrap my mind around the idea.  It looked at this point as though I had a project, I did.  I was going to make Alex a chemistry God if it KILLED ME, as this was unacceptable.  At this point, you're all probably wondering why I cared so much.  Here's why:  I simply couldn't have a moron as a friend.  Granted, he'd fill the affirmative action quota I have when it comes to friendships, but I simply wasn't going to stand for this.

Our chemistry group started to dwindle.  Mainly because I was so dedicated to making sure Alex understood what was going on, I seemed to neglect...  Well, everybody else.  The second third of the term came and went, and we were faced with our second midterm.  I wasn't taking any chances this time.  Putting aside all of the studying I had to do for other exams, I spent a good 20 accumulated hours prepping Alex for this exam.  The exam came and went, and afterwards, as usual, we strolled back to my room to check the key.

".................................  A 68 percent, Alex.  You got.  A high D.  AGAIN."  It was at this point that I started banging my head on my desk in utter disdain.  I think Alex was sitting there telling me AGAIN that it was alright due to the fact that the final would just replace it, but I wasn't listening.  At this point, it wasn't about Alex passing chemistry at all.  Oh no; it was about my utter FAILURE at being a tutor.  So, as only I could do, I managed to turn a totally selfless act into one that was all about me.  I had to maintain my dignity.  If my ward was failing Chemistry, what did this say about me?!  The implications were numerous.  And also a total figment of my imagination.

I was instilled with a new fiery passion.  Alex was going to DESTROY  the chem final by God, or suffer the dire consequences.  The two weeks between the second midterm and the exam came and went without much thought, and finally, we were faced with Dead Week.  I told Alex that we were going to start studying RIGHT NOW; a full week before the exam, all day, every day.  And study we did.  We went over every single practice exam, old exam, and problems from the book to make sure he had a grasp on the material.  If he didn't breeze right through a problem I gave him, I'd tell him exactly how to do it, and make him do several more.

The day of the exam came, and I was proud of my efforts so far.  Alex was able to do pretty much all of the math intensive problems.  He was going to do great; I could feel it.  We went our separate ways to take the exam.  I destroyed my exam.  HOWEVER.  There were several questions that I would look at and think "Oh God...  Alex is going to struggle with this one..."  But I pushed on and tried to take my mind off of that.

That night, my roommate's girlfriend had pizzas delivered to our dorm in celebration of the completion of our Chemistry final.  It was an incredibly generous offer, and it was greatly appreciated.  All of my friends had migrated to my place as they finished, and we gave our minds a break as we devoured free pizza like most college students would.  Finally, the exam keys came up, and I ran off to check both mine and Alex's scores.

I missed about two or three; no big, I still did quite well.  I was pleased.  It was then time to check Alex's.  It was only my roommate and I in the room, as everybody else was in the lounge eating pizza.  I started to go through his exam.

First question:  Wrong.  Hmmm...  Okay.  Second question:  Wrong.  .....  Uhh...  Third question:  Wrong.  Fourth question.  Wrong.  I started panicking.  Wrong.  Wrong.  Wrong.  Wrong.  Wrong.  Right.  Wrong.  Wrong.  Right.  Right.  Wrong. Wrong.  Wrong.  See the pattern?

By the end of the exam, my eyes were the size of dinner plate, and I'm sure I was as pale as a ghost.  Failed.  He had completely and utterly FAILED.  He didn't just slip up and get a few wrong, he DISMALLY FAILED HIS EXAM.  But wait; he didn't just fail, I did.  My week of intense prepping was all for naught, as he had failed this exam.  I was distraught.  I was in disbelief.  I was FURIOUS.  My roommate was snickering quietly to himself as I stormed out the door; at what, I wasn't quite sure.  I'm sure it was my melodrama, but whatever.

I marched into the lounge and had the exam clutched in my hand like a death grip.  "YOU FAILED, ALEX.  Your failure on this exam is rivaled by NONE."  I was livid.  How on EARTH could he simply FORGET everything I had spent countless hours teaching him!?  At that point, I knew what it was like to be a teacher.  The frustration one feels after spending so much time trying to get a subject across only to find it fell upon deaf ears.

Suddenly, Alex started busting up laughing.  He sat there for a solid minute and just laughed, and laughed, and laughed.  I was incredibly confused, to say the least.  When he finally composed himself, he looked at me and said "Dude.  I circled the answer below the one I ACTUALLY put on the scantron, just to make you flip out when you checked my score!!"

....  Touche, Alex.  Touche.

As the anger in me slowly subsided, annoyance quickly took its place.  Alright...  Nice joke, Alex.  That was funny, I'll admit.  As I, defeated, shuffled out of the room to RE CHECK his answers, Alex sat there and howled with laughter.  I went back into my room, and my roommate was ALSO busting up.  Apparently, he was in on it the whole time.

Bastards.

So I went through, and re-evaluated the exam.  Sadly, the ones he had gotten RIGHT (however little there were) were now WRONG.  But that was irrelevant.  After the calculations, I had his exam score sitting in front of me heavily underlined on his exam.  I strolled back into the lounge, and threw (literally threw) the exam at Alex, and told him to take a gander.

Alex wasn't laughing this time.  "Congrats, Alex.  You got a 58% on your final."  I told him wearily.  He up and rushed back to my room to check to see if I had made any mistakes.  I hadn't, and the score I gave him was truly his exam score.  With no reassurance of another exam to replace this one, he started to panic a little bit.  At this point, I had exhausted all of my negative emotions, and all I felt was sympathy.  I mean, boiling it down, I was sad that my friend didn't do too hot on this exam (and I was also upset that I actually HAD failed as a tutor).

At this point, a glimmer of understanding danced across Alex's face.  "Wait, dude..."  He slowly said.  "Look at the questions I got wrong.  They're all conceptual word problems.  All of the math problems that YOU taught me, I got right!!!  You aren't a failure after all!"

Thanks, pal.  "....  Are you serious?"  I managed to finally say.  Duh.  DUH.  Chemistry is ALL CONCEPTUAL.  THAT'S why Alex wasn't getting it!!!  I was trying to explain math that made PERFECT sense to me because I could see what was going on, but it was complete gibberish to Alex!  So of course, he could simply memorize the process to find an answer, but it didn't MEAN anything.  That being said, the word problems that actually asked about chemistry totally kicked his ass.

EPIC FACEPALM.

A bittersweet ending, it was.  He was right; I had done my job in making sure he knew how to do the problems, so that was something.  But, he still failed the exam.  We were both thinking at this point that he probably did rather poorly in the class, but it was irrelevant.  We were done, and it was time to head home for Christmas break.  Thus ended my fall term at OSU, and Alex's last term of Chemistry.  Yeah, there was no way in hell he was doing that again.  He chickened out and switched from a general science major, to a psych major.

What the hell, Alex.  Really?

P.S.  The lucky bastard managed a B in the class.  I was incredulous.