Strange, I know, but it's the truth.
I must forewarn you however, this blog post is going to be slightly... Sporadic. And short. My mind right now is having difficulty keeping to single coherent thoughts that are long and elaborate, so what you're in for on this particular reading is snippits of my thought process on two issues that plague America today. Both of them chalk full of the wonderful sarcasm that everybody has grown to love. Or at least tolerate.
---
I had the displeasure this morning to sit down and watch ten minutes of "The Hills" with Jocelyn and Emily. For those of you who are privileged enough to not know what this show is about, let me enlighten you. It is a show about people in L.A. that think they have the worst lives in the world because daddy didn't buy them their fourth nose job for that particular year. Am I over exaggerating? Yea- No. I'm not. The drama. The deceit. The HATRED all because Heidi spread those HORRID rumors about Lauren that are just NOT OKAY!!
... Ten minutes. That's all I could do before I literally wanted to claw my eyes out. I mean, sure. I can understand why people would want to watch this sort of thing. It's the same reason as to why I sit there on Facebook for hours on end and read every bit of drama that flits through the lives of people I know back home. Well, a lot of people I know back home, actually. That's why I'm on Facebook all of the time. I find it hilariously amusing. Drama is like a drug; it's addicting.
AT ANY RATE. The difference between Facebook and TV is the fact that on Facebook, I realize it's just people trying to desperately seek attention from their friends (all the while, continuing to be even more secretive and vague. You know what I'm talking about. "I'M SO UPSET RIGHT NOW BUT DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT IT OKAY?") But on television, these people are actually getting paid. GETTING. PAID. To be pathetic! What the hell!!? I could be a billion times more melodramatic than those people!! Why don't I have my own reality TV show on MTV!?
Oh wait. That's right, because I'm going to publish all of these blog posts and get a book going. Silly me.
It's shows like that, and Jersey Shore that make me weep for humanity. To think that there are people out there that are making millions for simply being... Well... MORONIC is unsettling. But that's just me. And I'm not the only one who thinks that. Yeah, I'm about 1,983,209th on the list of people who have angrily blogged about this sort of thing, but whatevs.
You know what, no. I'm going to grow up and be just like Snooki someday, JUST YOU WAIT.
---
This is actually a rather nice segway into another issue that has been on the backburners as of late.
Vaguebooking.
It's an issue that's plaguing everything that I hold dear in life. Yes, it's threatening, at its very core, Facebook. I find that when it comes to Facebooking, there is a right and a wrong way to do it. Facebook was created to network with your friends, and to keep them updated on your life. That's great! That's what social networks should be used for. Examples of this being okay, are maybe every once in a while letting your friends know that you're going to do something awesome, or bring up the fact that you are about to embark on something interesting. The antithesis to this would be letting people know you're going outside. Or you're going to sleep.
Gee. Thanks. Now that my worried mind has been put to rest, I can sleep well knowing that it is FINALLY your bed time.
That's me being nitpicky, however, and it's only my personal thoughts. Which is why I am writing them down. In my blog. Agree with me or not, it's simply how I feel on the issue. However, the more pressing flaw with people on Facebook, is like I had aforementioned.... Vaguebooking.
We all know the statuses. "I just don't know about life anymore..." "FINE, BE THAT WAY, YOU STUPID BITCH!! HE LIKES ME MORE ANYWAY!!" "I just need to go for a drive to clear my head... Things are just so hard right now..." Now don't get me wrong. Like everything else, some things are fine in moderation. Why, I myself even vaguebooked once.
GASP!
I know, I know. It's not something I'm too incredibly proud of, but sometimes one just needs to vent to the world, and that's completely understandable. What ISN'T understandable, is doing the same types of statuses day in and day out. EVERY. SINGLE. POST. I just.... I don't understand! No really; I don't. The nature of the vague status is to be so opaque that nobody can understand... But that's beside the point. What further kills me off, is when people finally cave and ask what's wrong, the poster usually (nine times out of ten) just doesn't want to talk about it. Or the request that the person message or text them, because they simply don't want to say.
Why then. WHY would you post it for the world to see on Facebook? It's a correlation I just can't wrap my mind around.
I see vaguebooking as an issue that is threatening our very way of life. It's like a virus. Well, that and the desire to take camera phone/mirror pictures. SERIOUSLY. WHY WOULD YOU TAKE THOSE. HAVE SOMEONE TAKE YOUR PICTURE. Alright. Got that out of my system. Moving on. Actually, I'm not done. It's actually quite impressive the way that some girls bend and contort themselves to get the perfect mirror pic. The duck lips have to be JUST RIGHT. The cleavage has to be the perfect length. And so on and so forth. They do all of this while angling a camera at a mirror! In all honesty, it's impressive!
Alright. Now I'm done. Sorry for the tangential thought.
Like all issues, however, I feel as though awareness needs to be raised. That's why, I feel it prudent to start a "Vaguebooking Awareness Week." During this particular week, every Facebook status must be as vague and whiny as possible. Hopefully, it will jar people out of the trance they are in, and make them realize just how ridiculous their daily drama sounds to the rest of the world.
---
Gee. In retrospect, this blog post has been rather... Well... Pointedly spiteful. Ah well, such is my mood right now. What can you do. This being the shortest of my blog posts thus far, it's really only something to tie people over until I get in a good writing mood. I don't know why, but the mood has eluded me as of late; and for that I apologize.
Never fear though, dedicated readers. Soon. SOON I will get back into blogging regularly, and all will be well with the world. In the mean time, however, I'll leave you with this sign off.
Calan Eyler: Speaking the truth since 1992.
---
I had the displeasure this morning to sit down and watch ten minutes of "The Hills" with Jocelyn and Emily. For those of you who are privileged enough to not know what this show is about, let me enlighten you. It is a show about people in L.A. that think they have the worst lives in the world because daddy didn't buy them their fourth nose job for that particular year. Am I over exaggerating? Yea- No. I'm not. The drama. The deceit. The HATRED all because Heidi spread those HORRID rumors about Lauren that are just NOT OKAY!!
... Ten minutes. That's all I could do before I literally wanted to claw my eyes out. I mean, sure. I can understand why people would want to watch this sort of thing. It's the same reason as to why I sit there on Facebook for hours on end and read every bit of drama that flits through the lives of people I know back home. Well, a lot of people I know back home, actually. That's why I'm on Facebook all of the time. I find it hilariously amusing. Drama is like a drug; it's addicting.
AT ANY RATE. The difference between Facebook and TV is the fact that on Facebook, I realize it's just people trying to desperately seek attention from their friends (all the while, continuing to be even more secretive and vague. You know what I'm talking about. "I'M SO UPSET RIGHT NOW BUT DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT IT OKAY?") But on television, these people are actually getting paid. GETTING. PAID. To be pathetic! What the hell!!? I could be a billion times more melodramatic than those people!! Why don't I have my own reality TV show on MTV!?
Oh wait. That's right, because I'm going to publish all of these blog posts and get a book going. Silly me.
It's shows like that, and Jersey Shore that make me weep for humanity. To think that there are people out there that are making millions for simply being... Well... MORONIC is unsettling. But that's just me. And I'm not the only one who thinks that. Yeah, I'm about 1,983,209th on the list of people who have angrily blogged about this sort of thing, but whatevs.
You know what, no. I'm going to grow up and be just like Snooki someday, JUST YOU WAIT.
---
This is actually a rather nice segway into another issue that has been on the backburners as of late.
Vaguebooking.
It's an issue that's plaguing everything that I hold dear in life. Yes, it's threatening, at its very core, Facebook. I find that when it comes to Facebooking, there is a right and a wrong way to do it. Facebook was created to network with your friends, and to keep them updated on your life. That's great! That's what social networks should be used for. Examples of this being okay, are maybe every once in a while letting your friends know that you're going to do something awesome, or bring up the fact that you are about to embark on something interesting. The antithesis to this would be letting people know you're going outside. Or you're going to sleep.
Gee. Thanks. Now that my worried mind has been put to rest, I can sleep well knowing that it is FINALLY your bed time.
That's me being nitpicky, however, and it's only my personal thoughts. Which is why I am writing them down. In my blog. Agree with me or not, it's simply how I feel on the issue. However, the more pressing flaw with people on Facebook, is like I had aforementioned.... Vaguebooking.
We all know the statuses. "I just don't know about life anymore..." "FINE, BE THAT WAY, YOU STUPID BITCH!! HE LIKES ME MORE ANYWAY!!" "I just need to go for a drive to clear my head... Things are just so hard right now..." Now don't get me wrong. Like everything else, some things are fine in moderation. Why, I myself even vaguebooked once.
GASP!
I know, I know. It's not something I'm too incredibly proud of, but sometimes one just needs to vent to the world, and that's completely understandable. What ISN'T understandable, is doing the same types of statuses day in and day out. EVERY. SINGLE. POST. I just.... I don't understand! No really; I don't. The nature of the vague status is to be so opaque that nobody can understand... But that's beside the point. What further kills me off, is when people finally cave and ask what's wrong, the poster usually (nine times out of ten) just doesn't want to talk about it. Or the request that the person message or text them, because they simply don't want to say.
Why then. WHY would you post it for the world to see on Facebook? It's a correlation I just can't wrap my mind around.
I see vaguebooking as an issue that is threatening our very way of life. It's like a virus. Well, that and the desire to take camera phone/mirror pictures. SERIOUSLY. WHY WOULD YOU TAKE THOSE. HAVE SOMEONE TAKE YOUR PICTURE. Alright. Got that out of my system. Moving on. Actually, I'm not done. It's actually quite impressive the way that some girls bend and contort themselves to get the perfect mirror pic. The duck lips have to be JUST RIGHT. The cleavage has to be the perfect length. And so on and so forth. They do all of this while angling a camera at a mirror! In all honesty, it's impressive!
Alright. Now I'm done. Sorry for the tangential thought.
Like all issues, however, I feel as though awareness needs to be raised. That's why, I feel it prudent to start a "Vaguebooking Awareness Week." During this particular week, every Facebook status must be as vague and whiny as possible. Hopefully, it will jar people out of the trance they are in, and make them realize just how ridiculous their daily drama sounds to the rest of the world.
---
Gee. In retrospect, this blog post has been rather... Well... Pointedly spiteful. Ah well, such is my mood right now. What can you do. This being the shortest of my blog posts thus far, it's really only something to tie people over until I get in a good writing mood. I don't know why, but the mood has eluded me as of late; and for that I apologize.
Never fear though, dedicated readers. Soon. SOON I will get back into blogging regularly, and all will be well with the world. In the mean time, however, I'll leave you with this sign off.
Calan Eyler: Speaking the truth since 1992.
When will Vaguebooking Awareness Week be?
ReplyDelete